you’ve changed//
“You’ve changed…”
That statement literally used to tear me apart. It made me question progress. It left room to alter the real me. & it allowed others to control who I was going to be..
That was the insecure me, who was defined in other people; in comparison to being rooted and finding my self worth in my savior. Literally, that statement makes me smile when I read over it because I think to myself..
“I have changed, and i’m undoubtedly okay with that.”
The old me would seek approval and acceptance in the people around me, the people I was surrounding myself with secretly had “duties” to essentially determine who I should be and how I should act. This is where it gets so exciting for me, because my community plays such a different role in my life; not to determine the [in & outs] of Melissa Marie Clarke but to encourage me not determine me.
That last job is for Jesus.
Jesus has literally changed me, strengthened me, encouraged me, lead me, protected me, guided me.. (I probably could go on forever) More simply said, Jesus has defined the woman of God that I am today; not other people.
The new and refined person that I am continuing to aspire to be, has changed me..
and you know what, I couldn’t be happier about this “changed me”
“You’ve changed…”
- i know :) you noticed too, huh?
stop making everyone happy, & do this for yourself
and thats what I am going to do.
{Life without revision will silence our souls}
What a powerful quote this is, and what an impact it could make upon society.
For such a long time, I have made choices upon what other people saw socially accepted, or valued in this day. but in all reality, my heart eventually took reigns and evaluated the choices I was making to then-on decide what I was going to do for the rest of my life.
no doubt my passion has been kids. their hearts are something to be invested in. their minds to spark creativity. and their pure heart to change this world. simpler said, i WANT to be apart of that growth, I DESIRE to be apart of that initial change.
that being said, I was torn.. stay with the major I have told everyone i wanted to do, or follow the will God has set in my heart and become a kindergarten teacher.
as I talked to my mentor about this, I rambled on about children, and their hearts that are ever so delicate; that have great potential.
BINGO. I had it, i KNEW thats what I should be doing.
Here is the validity:
Romans 1:17 “As the scriptures say, it is through faith that a righteous person has life.”
Proverbs 19:21 “You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail”
Proverbs 20:5 ” Through good advice lies deep within the heart, a person with understanding will draw it out”
Proverbs 21:30 “No human wisdom or understanding or plan can stand against the Lord”
So what I’m saying, is I’m about to make another leap of faith. Although scary, I know more of these are apt to come again, but the comforting thing about it is God will ALWAYS catch me.
Be BOLD.
life without revision will silence our souls.
beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
Beauty.
Beauty can be defined in so many ways, especially in this day in age. Skin that appears to be flawless, elongated eyelashes to attract the opposite sex, the perfect lip color that brings out your eyes.. but what about the other side of beauty; [natural beauty]
This seems to be something that is non-existant now-a-days. The beauty that you are naturally born with, the beauty God has blessed you with. So why do women take this beauty for granted and cover it up, with materialistic things?
Insecurities- lies that tend to fill the minds of countless girls/women today. Saying that you [ARENT] beautiful. & who is the one to judge if something is beautiful or not. Our narrowed view of beauty has destroyed the perceptions of what beauty actually entails.
Go to your mirror:
remove the make-up you have applied, and look at you, for the beautiful you that you are.
God has made you a beautiful human being that He adores unconditionally. He thinks you are beautiful. He thinks you are precious. He thinks you are irreplaceable. He thinks you are a beautiful daughter. He loves YOU, for you.
This is why, i have challenged myself to find the beauty God has placed in my heart. removing any artificial “beauty” and wear my heart on my sleeve.
Will this be hard? Completely. But I want to view myself how God views me everyday. A precious creation.
I need to find beauty in my natural state. & that is what I will do.
I desire to make these sacrifices, to maybe have the opportunity to be that much closer to truth.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. & I behold beauty.
perfect.
(Source: grapesmakemesick, via theunfaithful)
life without revision, will silence our souls
—sleeping at last
![//To move, or stand still//
Such a fine line- in many stages in our life, we have opportunities, we have fighting chances, we have burning desires, to act on our emotions. But when is that breakthrough moment to act.. or to just stand still and allow the Lord to move you, while you listen to the sounds of the wilderness.
You are given chances, you are given these passions in your heart, but it’s such an interesting topic to discuss. It’s hard to put your feelings on paper. Its hard to pour your heart out and squeeze it into a mere word to describe a certain feeling in your heart. You try, but it comes out as…” ” …a mere, nothing.
What? That doesn’t make sense. You have these feelings in your heart but why can’t you act on them, if you are losing grasp of something you have once had ahold of, and it’s slipping out of your fingers; when do you act and when do you stand still..?
Prayer: Prayer is HUGE. How are you supposed to know if you are supposed to act on something if you cannot surrender everything to God? I know for myself, if I am feeling sporadic or emotional about something; I have to take a step back and look at it from an unattached standpoint. Pray until you feel peace about something, if not- you might want to re-think it.
Support: Support from my family, friends, and community is a primary conductor of strength. I desire the support of my surrounding community. I don’t need them, I want them there. Pour your heart out to the ones you trust, and the ones that you feel like will give you an honest opinion about trials and tribulations.
These two things alone, has helped with this question of when to act or when to be still..
[you fight for the ones you love. you don’t stop trying. love is a sum of all our choices, if you choose to love- make that choice day in and day out..]
Listen quietly to the wilderness.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lv5m041UT51qhzjzvo1_500.jpg)
//To move, or stand still//
Such a fine line- in many stages in our life, we have opportunities, we have fighting chances, we have burning desires, to act on our emotions. But when is that breakthrough moment to act.. or to just stand still and allow the Lord to move you, while you listen to the sounds of the wilderness.
You are given chances, you are given these passions in your heart, but it’s such an interesting topic to discuss. It’s hard to put your feelings on paper. Its hard to pour your heart out and squeeze it into a mere word to describe a certain feeling in your heart. You try, but it comes out as…” ” …a mere, nothing.
What? That doesn’t make sense. You have these feelings in your heart but why can’t you act on them, if you are losing grasp of something you have once had ahold of, and it’s slipping out of your fingers; when do you act and when do you stand still..?
Prayer: Prayer is HUGE. How are you supposed to know if you are supposed to act on something if you cannot surrender everything to God? I know for myself, if I am feeling sporadic or emotional about something; I have to take a step back and look at it from an unattached standpoint. Pray until you feel peace about something, if not- you might want to re-think it.
Support: Support from my family, friends, and community is a primary conductor of strength. I desire the support of my surrounding community. I don’t need them, I want them there. Pour your heart out to the ones you trust, and the ones that you feel like will give you an honest opinion about trials and tribulations.
These two things alone, has helped with this question of when to act or when to be still..
[you fight for the ones you love. you don’t stop trying. love is a sum of all our choices, if you choose to love- make that choice day in and day out..]
Listen quietly to the wilderness.
foundation of {me}
My hometown is the most lovely, and comforting part of my life. My family lives there, memories remain there, and my heart will always have a place there- since i’ve moved to colorado about a year ago, that is a spot in my heart that belongs to me; and I haven’t really had the opportunity to feel vulnerable because that is a part of me, that is the foundation of my heart that no one really knows about.
Thinking about it, honestly, there would be no better place to grow up.
Endless fields.
Countess adventures.
Breathtaking sunsets.
…and the presence of [comfort]
I want to share that part of {me}- this best kept secret. This place is the key to my heart.
some things don’t change, but some are starting to..
Breakdown.
The other night, the strangest thing happened. It was a Sunday night, and so I headed back home just as I normally would. Doing the same “U-TURN” I always take followed by a quick right turn. As I neared our home, I noticed a car on the street. Too familiar I must say.. a little too close to comfort.
As I walked in, my roommates were studying- as some other guests being over as well. One in particular, made me shut down completely. As I explained before to one of my roommates, I instantaneously didn’t know who I was; or how to act.
I felt half one person and half another person, that turned into an “emotional tornado” that started to internally affect how I was acting. I closed down. I questioned me. And unhealthily questioned my worth. Why was I allowing an individual to indirectly control me. There has just been a lot of change since a series of events, a lot of change that people were not apart of- that made me ask myself, who am I supposed to be? The person I was or the person I am? This was a difficult concept for me to grasp.. that even though my heart had no feelings attached, that hurt still was associated with this person.
Things change. People change. But we all have the choice to [[live]]
I need to realize that people come and go. People make promises they cannot keep. Hearts break. but hearts also heal
God had a stern hand in it all, and my faith is steadfast.
Things are becoming different. Relationships are changing, people are investing in different things. That creates fear, I don’t want to be alone. Fear that everyone will be investing in new things, people, relationships, and I will be left; left to fend for myself.
Confidence. That is the key for me to focus on right now-
Rejoice in the small things that the Lord blesses me with, and when the big things come along, i’ll be prepared. ready.
some things don’t change, but some are starting to…
I don’t want to live this life…
…barely scraping by”
Ready for my day off from work, and a day of rest-
All I wanted to do was knit. It sounds silly but it’s a newfound hobby of mine. I enjoy creating something with my own hands and seeing the progress I continue to make as time goes on. Even though I am making it myself, there is imperfections; sometimes deciding to go back and start over- but I found that the imperfections is what makes it special.. {unique}
Who knew knitting a headband, or scarf had the potential to teach me something internal and ultimately something about myself.
My imperfections is what makes me- [ME] and the most revelating thing about it is that God loves me for all those things I label as “imperfect” I can’t go back and fix these things in hope that someday i’ll be perfect; but in all actuality- I won’t ever be perfect. I need to surrender these flaws to my Father, afterall He is the heart of love. The funny thing about all this realization came from the forgetfulness of me lacking to remember my knitting needle to a local coffee shop. I repeatedly got upset because it was something I desired to do. BUT as I said that, my bible say upon my laptop; thats truly what my heart desired to do. To take delight in what God wanted to tell me today.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Find beauty in the unexpected.
Take delight in the unordinary.
Find hope in the lost.
Move the unshaken.
Trust in the unfailing, God.
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| Photo credit: Deviant Art
(Source: quote-book)
